Cross-continuum Collaboration

So he hates being called ‘my old friend, Andy’ but the other night, my old friend Andy passed on a few nuggets of corporate obfuscation from the large multi-national he works for. Following is one of the best. This comes from an email from HR announcing a new hire:

‘In this new role, she will drive the alignment of internal business operations to enable cross-continuum collaboration in the business unit’.

The thing that amuses me is that NOBODY talks like this in real life. You only see this type of BS in corporate videos and press releases. Can you imagine some HR VP speaking like this at home with the family?

So if you have a translation for this help me out.

I went to Vipassana meditation….

I went to Vipassana meditation the other night. Across the courtyard I could hear an AA group doing their thing while we were doing ours. They were boisterous with lots of clapping while we were quiet and contemplative. One room was full of people who liked to party and one room was full people who needed to party. Sure sounded like they were having more fun.

Worst Job Description Ever?

He/she contributes in a creative and collaborative way to achieve the companys goals of producing market leading products through positive outcomes.