Lycra: Material used for bike clothing that let’s everyone know how your training program is progressing.
Bike Lane: Shoulder of the road usually demarcated by a white line where you will find glass, sand, leaves, garbage cans, parked cars, dumpsters, road work signs, abandoned shopping carts, delivery trucks, taxis and more. Sometimes there is room for a bike.
Stop light: traffic signals that are placed at regular intervals on the road to allow drivers to pause and complete the email they started at 40 mph.
Bike lock: a security device that prevents theft only for bikes nobody wants anyway.
Helmet: A safety device intended to make drivers more comfortable when they cut you off in traffic.
Race: An opportunity to pay for a ride you wouldn’t do for free while riding with people you shouldn’t pay to ride with.
Century ride: See ‘Race’ then add many more people and food stops every 15 miles.
Standard: A specification for components on a bicycle that allows interchangeability amongst manufacturers. Often updated, improved and obsoleted all in the same year rendering much of your gear useless. The only ‘standard’ that remains in common use 40+ years after I started playing with bikes is the pedal thread.
Bike path: A path separated from car traffic where runners, skaters, child walkers, dog walkers, jogglers and the like can complain that bikes go too fast.
Cycle apparel: Take regular clothing and multiply the price by 2X. 3X for brands with vaguely European-sounding names.